The glorius confusion that is life...

Monogamy is overrated.

Commitment is not. What do you do when someone you had loved comes into your life from the past? What if you find you still have feelings for them.

That's why I posted my "promises to myself" again below. (I had posted them some way back)

We live our life (Storm and I) under our own rules. But that doesn't mean there aren't any rules, just rules based on real life, instead of fairy tales.

~~~
One of my fav poets is Sara Teasdale.

NEW LOVE AND OLD

IN my heart the old love
Struggled with the new;
It was ghostly waking
All night thru.

Dear things, kind things,
That my old love said,
Ranged themselves reproachfully
Round my bed.

But I could not heed them,
For I seemed to see
The eyes of my new love
Fixed on me.

Old love, old love,
How can I be true?
Shall I be faithless to myself
Or to you?

~~~~

And isn't that the rub. Who/What should one be faithful to? What does faithful even mean? Once one starts to "off" road with the traditional rules of life, you have to answer these questions for yourself. The problem with tradition is that so many of the "rules" that have been handed down to us from the past are not about success, but about power and control.

So, I step up to my rules, my compass points.

Build on these 9 roots of life:

Respect, Friendship, Trust, Loyalty, Love, Intimacy, Commitment, Dependability and Passion

Embrace these 10 actions of being/becoming:

Ecstatic Joy, Loving, Dancing, Doing, Thinking, Learning, Listening, Laughing, Touching and the Art of Now

And instead of looking at the poem I published above, I look to this one by Ms. Teasdale:

Barter

Life has loveliness to sell,
All beautiful and splendid things,
Blue waves whitened on a cliff,
Soaring fire that sways and sings,
And children's faces looking up
Holding wonder like a cup.

Life has loveliness to sell,
Music like a curve of gold,
Scent of pine trees in the rain,
Eyes that love you, arms that hold,
And for your spirit's still delight,
Holy thoughts that star the night.

Spend all you have for loveliness,
Buy it and never count the cost;
For one white singing hour of peace
Count many a year of strife well lost,
And for a breath of ecstasy
Give all you have been, or could be.

Nothing secret. Nothing hidden. Put it all out in the open. At the very least a great friend has returned to my life, and I can bring her into my life. At the most, someone for Storm and I to frolic with, to dance with, to play with...and who knows.

But no matter what happens. I can't feel ashamed of the way I feel. I can't be ashamed of love. Why should anyone be ashamed of feeling real love. No, it is how you handle it. I love Storm, I love my returned friend. How do I avoid a Victorian disaster?

As always, the problem is not too much love. But too little love in this world.

So my solution? I invited her to dance with us. To be friends with us. And to see what would happen. And a promise to the world to follow my compass points. And it turns out, this road may have its own solution. Being around Storm and I for a night of dancing and music, motivated her to reach out to the world of love again. Maybe she will find what she is looking for, and become a member of our family? Maybe she will come closer and dance with us. Maybe, maybe....maybe. Any way, I think we only lose if we turn away from love. If we shut ourselves to the possibility of joy.

Love should only make your world bigger. Never smaller.

The past two weeks have not been as easy as this post makes it sound. But...if you like roller coasters, you would have liked it.

And I like roller coasters.