Preparing a funeral part I

We are sitting in the Morticians office, a young woman, my first pleasant surprise of the proceedings...and it fits, my aunt would have liked her.

We are discussing caskets, vaults etc....

After explaining the various items, like thickness of vaults....airtightness of caskets...it is up to us to decide...

I turn to my stepmother, who belonged to the same church as my aunt and say...

"Well, I think you've got to make the call here...after all I'm a heathen, do we go for super protection so the body will be preserved for your 'resurrection' or do we want to make it easier for her to claw her way out in the end days?"

The mortician laughs, then clasps her hand across her mouth and looks surprised at her own reaction....

Without skipping a beat my step-mom says..."Better make it easier to get out".

My father is a lucky man.

A song my father used to sing:

You can plant a watermelon vine right over my grave and let the juice (slurp) drip through.
You can plant a watermelon vine right over my grave that's all I ask of you.
Now Southern fried chicken is mighty, mighty fine, but all I want is a watermelon vine.
You can plant a watermelon vine right over my grave and let the juice (slurp) drip through.