Now for something completely different: Have you, do you?
Yanked from a friends live journal, and posted here for a little relief....
How tall are you?
5'10"
Have you ever smoked heroin?
We don't talk about that.
Do you own a gun?
Not presently, last one I owned was a .45 for backwoods camping.
Have you ever been arrested?
You need to ask?
Rehab?
I don't need no stinkin' rehab..
How many of your friends have committed suicide?
Too many. Metaphysical life sucks sometimes.
Do you shave your crotch?
Nope, but I have.
Would you fuck someone in a cemetery?
Been there, done that.
Do you ever punch yourself?
What are you nuts?
Have you ever killed an animal?
Yes. Squirrel, rabbit and deer, all for eating. A lesson I relearned recently at the feet of the Lakota, if you cannot take the life of an animal, and accept your part in the cycle of life, perhaps you should not eat meat.
Are you Irish?
Thank jod no, but step-grandfather was, and he always told me to be glad I wasn't.
Who would you punch if you could?
Ha, that would be a confession before the fact, so I'll pass.
What do you think of hot dogs?
I think sp had the right answer: I like 'em. Especially from Hot Doug's.
What is your favorite smell?
The smell of burning green, green leafy substance in the morning, it smells like victory.
And sulfur, which if the catholics are right, is a good thing, cause I'll be smelling a lot of it.
What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Java, Java and Java.
Would you go to SF or NYC right now if you had the chance?
SF yes, NYC maybe, but neither make it to my top 100 places I want to see.
Do you do pushups?
Have, should, will.
Do you ever fantasize about murder?
Didn't we cover these types of questions.
Would you fuck Victoria Gotti if you could?
Only if her father were still a kingpin.
Have you ever done ecstasy?
Nope.
Are you straightedge?
The universe is curved, there is no such thing as a straight edge. NO.
Are you vegan?
Is that someone who comes from Vegas?
Do you shoplift?
No.
What’s the last thing you stole?
Hmmm...I don't know, candy probably.
Do you ski or snowboard?
Have.
What do you think of moustaches?
Hmm....I don't really think of them at all, I know in myself it interferes with certain of my oral hetero tendencies.
Do you use hair gel?
Sometimes.
Do you sniff cocaine?
Once, maybe twice when I was young and especially stupid.
Who is your favorite serial killer?
Do Genocidal freaks qualify? No favorite, but my most hated is Andrew Jackson, than Adolph, than tied for third most hated, Stalin and Lenin.
Have you ever made out with your friend's bf or gf?
That would be telling, but I will say I have never sneaked.
Have you ever been caught mid-hump?
Yea, way too many times, my life is like that.
Have you been shot?
Shot at and threatened at gunpoint, but never shot.
Have you ever been hospitalized?
The bastards tried, but I've always had the inside straight.
Do you like painkillers?
Only sex.
What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
Yeah, sure.
Have you ever lubed up your genitals with soy milk?
No, but then again no one has ever suggested that before.
Do you own a knife?
Several.
Have you played ghettopoly?
No.
Have you ever bought drugs in the "ghetto" or "hood"?
Let's skip that one. Well, wait a minute, I didn't buy anything from her, but one night (well, 2 am) I got off the train and was offered some crack, I hung around with her for an hour or so, while she did her business, to get a feel for what was goin' on in the streets.
Do you have A.D.D.?
No, but when I was young they did try to give me lithium, but once again I had the inside straight. I was getting step by step instructions on how to avoid such designations by an expert, a russian jew who ran circles around the KGB back in the day and got out before the wall fell. He and his advice, saved my life when they came to put me away back when I was young and political. (There are people who will tell you that there is such a thing as ADD, I say, no, but if you like your belief minus science or proof, then I have a disease for you.) I also years later (in my 20's) helped parents keep their children from being designated dangers to the state, sorry I mean ADD, or ADHD.
Have you ever had a head injury?
No. As you can probably guess, there is some contention about that however.
How many virgins have u slept with?
Only one, and she lied about that, or it would have been zero.
Do u love the pain a tattoo brings?
Don't know, I haven't gotten one. I'll get back to you.
How tall are you?
5'10"
Have you ever smoked heroin?
We don't talk about that.
Do you own a gun?
Not presently, last one I owned was a .45 for backwoods camping.
Have you ever been arrested?
You need to ask?
Rehab?
I don't need no stinkin' rehab..
How many of your friends have committed suicide?
Too many. Metaphysical life sucks sometimes.
Do you shave your crotch?
Nope, but I have.
Would you fuck someone in a cemetery?
Been there, done that.
Do you ever punch yourself?
What are you nuts?
Have you ever killed an animal?
Yes. Squirrel, rabbit and deer, all for eating. A lesson I relearned recently at the feet of the Lakota, if you cannot take the life of an animal, and accept your part in the cycle of life, perhaps you should not eat meat.
Are you Irish?
Thank jod no, but step-grandfather was, and he always told me to be glad I wasn't.
Who would you punch if you could?
Ha, that would be a confession before the fact, so I'll pass.
What do you think of hot dogs?
I think sp had the right answer: I like 'em. Especially from Hot Doug's.
What is your favorite smell?
The smell of burning green, green leafy substance in the morning, it smells like victory.
And sulfur, which if the catholics are right, is a good thing, cause I'll be smelling a lot of it.
What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Java, Java and Java.
Would you go to SF or NYC right now if you had the chance?
SF yes, NYC maybe, but neither make it to my top 100 places I want to see.
Do you do pushups?
Have, should, will.
Do you ever fantasize about murder?
Didn't we cover these types of questions.
Would you fuck Victoria Gotti if you could?
Only if her father were still a kingpin.
Have you ever done ecstasy?
Nope.
Are you straightedge?
The universe is curved, there is no such thing as a straight edge. NO.
Are you vegan?
Is that someone who comes from Vegas?
Do you shoplift?
No.
What’s the last thing you stole?
Hmmm...I don't know, candy probably.
Do you ski or snowboard?
Have.
What do you think of moustaches?
Hmm....I don't really think of them at all, I know in myself it interferes with certain of my oral hetero tendencies.
Do you use hair gel?
Sometimes.
Do you sniff cocaine?
Once, maybe twice when I was young and especially stupid.
Who is your favorite serial killer?
Do Genocidal freaks qualify? No favorite, but my most hated is Andrew Jackson, than Adolph, than tied for third most hated, Stalin and Lenin.
Have you ever made out with your friend's bf or gf?
That would be telling, but I will say I have never sneaked.
Have you ever been caught mid-hump?
Yea, way too many times, my life is like that.
Have you been shot?
Shot at and threatened at gunpoint, but never shot.
Have you ever been hospitalized?
The bastards tried, but I've always had the inside straight.
Do you like painkillers?
Only sex.
What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
Yeah, sure.
Have you ever lubed up your genitals with soy milk?
No, but then again no one has ever suggested that before.
Do you own a knife?
Several.
Have you played ghettopoly?
No.
Have you ever bought drugs in the "ghetto" or "hood"?
Let's skip that one. Well, wait a minute, I didn't buy anything from her, but one night (well, 2 am) I got off the train and was offered some crack, I hung around with her for an hour or so, while she did her business, to get a feel for what was goin' on in the streets.
Do you have A.D.D.?
No, but when I was young they did try to give me lithium, but once again I had the inside straight. I was getting step by step instructions on how to avoid such designations by an expert, a russian jew who ran circles around the KGB back in the day and got out before the wall fell. He and his advice, saved my life when they came to put me away back when I was young and political. (There are people who will tell you that there is such a thing as ADD, I say, no, but if you like your belief minus science or proof, then I have a disease for you.) I also years later (in my 20's) helped parents keep their children from being designated dangers to the state, sorry I mean ADD, or ADHD.
Have you ever had a head injury?
No. As you can probably guess, there is some contention about that however.
How many virgins have u slept with?
Only one, and she lied about that, or it would have been zero.
Do u love the pain a tattoo brings?
Don't know, I haven't gotten one. I'll get back to you.
posted by Johnny Lightheart at 8:44 PM
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